Ok, I am wondering....is it the Vicoden I am taking? or am I just stressed out and crazy in general? I HATE MY LIFE. This new woman, Genn does not get it. She comes later and later every day. She doesn't do anything the right way. I asked her and FUCKING GAVE HER a list of everything that Mom needed to have done and she doesn't do any of it. NONE OF IT !!! I am so pissed off. I am full of anger and hate and I am not sure what I am going to be able to do about it. I am wondering if I am just a drugged up crazy cunt or what? I want to cry but I am too angry. I can not even analyze why I am so pissed off. Right now, I am in my bedroom with the door closed and typing away. It all started simple enough. Having Mom at Victory Lakes for a month was so restful for me...so relaxing....now.....everything is horrible and I mean HORRIBLE. I HATE MY LIFE.but not enough to want to end it. I guess that's a good thing. I'm not sure. Gary and I used to go for lunch and breakfast and shopping whenever....it was so nice.....now I am stuck here with this situation . I am thinking that I will tell her today that she is finished instead of waiting until tomorrow. I am so mad. She comes an hour late every day. She is impossible to understand her Lithuanian accent.
I mean really, shouldn't life be happy? I know it isn't for everyone, all of the time....but I don't remember feeling like this before. I mean, so full of hate and anger. I want to think of me. and my happiness. Right now, I eat to feel happy. WRONG. I used to sew and have such a happy life...now....I am a robot. full of anger. I don't see how it can be fixed either. if I had a car, I would drive away and never come back. I would drive out to Jenny. I hate my life so much.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thank you kindly for leaving your thoughts....I am very grateful :) Janet